Have you decided you're open to help? So many of us have a "I want to do it myself" attitude. It's like we're children who never grew up.
Now don't get me wrong. I'd still rather do it myself than need help, but since I've discovered I can't make it without assistance to do certain things, I've decided to enjoy the process.
Last week I spoke on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday--all in different cities! In the first place, I only drive locally due to the fatigue of MS on my muscles used to turn the wheel and push on the gas and brake. (The entire body fatigues out when I overuse one strong muscle that is taking over for the weak ones. I am incredibly grateful that I can drive even locally though, since I lost all ability to drive for two and a half years in the early 1980's.)
This means I needed a driver to even do these speaking/singing engagements. And my friend Lynda is indeed a helper extraordinaire because her spirit is all about meeting my needs! She drives with such ease we missed our first exit on Monday because we were chatting away! She removes my power chair from our van with skill after doing it many times. (I walk in our house balancing off furniture and walls and use my cool-aids for short distances, but prefer my power chair when I speak within driving distance--instead of flying somewhere--so I am more independent. There's that "I'd rather do it myself attitude again! GRIN)
Lynda hauls into each venue all we'll need, never griping or upset by less than ideal situations. And handling my book and CD sales after I've shared my program is a breeze for Lynda while I am autographing books and speaking to people.
When we arrive at our host's house Lynda thinks nothing of meeting my every "Would you please..." with a smile or she responds "I could do that in a while when I'm going out..." Because she's secure enough to suggest alternatives I never feel I should watch out for what I am asking Lynda to do. She just shows such a spirit of service I want to hug her!
And then there were our hosts, Cathy and Rick. Without being willing to have us for THREE nights in a row I wouldn't have accepted this tour of cities. And because they were such down home people, while trying to meet our every need, we felt totally comfortable for those days. Rick was the handy-man we needed for my power chair when the mushroom hand guide got out of place and he was always ready to meet other needs and Cathy worked deliciously with my "no salt" diet and perfectly with my "no scent" sheets, keeping me in just the shape I like to be in. We've made friendships we hope to renew later. (Rick and my husband Ray are both Marines who fought in Vietnam... once a Marine always a Marine.)
At each event helpers abounded and though I have my own way of doing things I've learned to do my best to go with the flow and accept their own ways of operating--that way we are all accommodated in the ebb and flow of give and take.
Yes, there is that pull to do it all myself still within me, but oh, the joy I experience from the help of others. And the blessing they receive in return for assisting me. It's a win-win situation.
To a week of letting others help us and blessing them with the joy of meeting our needs, or having the privilege to assist them!
Jo
Showing posts with label asking for help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label asking for help. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Friday, September 5, 2008
How to Help the Ones Who Help Us
This coming Monday is the start of National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. I am proud and honored to be a part once again of this annual event.
On Tuesday at 3 pm PST I will be speaking and answering questions about how we can help those who help us on blogtalkradio.com. You can click on the link to the right of this post in order to get to the NICIAW website and go directly to the scheduled talks.
No matter what political party you belong or adhere to, or how you choose to vote, you may have heard or watched Senator McCain giving his acceptance speech last night. He said something to the effect that he was cocky until he spiraled to the ground from his plane into enemy hands where an angry crowd awaited him. He related that he became even more changed when he was put in a cell with two other prisoners who fed him because he couldn't himself.
I relate this because his experience of being broken when he needed help is one that is universal to mankind. When we need the help of others to handle basic living all the strength and self reliance we depend upon is immediately depleted.
And how we accept the help of others and incorporate it into our lives makes all the difference in how they feel about assisting us. Though I am usually, as I am now, able to do almost anything as long as I walk with forearm crutches, when I travel to speak across country I depend on others to assist me at events. I depend on people to drive me to speaking engagements as well, though I drive near home. How I ask for help, showing appreciation for and trying to understand how my helpers might feel regarding things, influences how we get along. When I need help in our home the assumptions I make and how I communicate my needs reinforces or depletes the relationship warmth we maintain among us.
Jesus wasn't afraid to ask his disciples to accompany him in his time of need in the Garden of Gethsemane. He models for us behavior that often needs to be learned.
How we help the ones who help us will be the basis of my talk on Tuesday. If this is something you'd like to explore, please join Lisa and me on blogtalkradio.com!
Learning how to help others who help me . . .
Have a great weekend!
Jo
On Tuesday at 3 pm PST I will be speaking and answering questions about how we can help those who help us on blogtalkradio.com. You can click on the link to the right of this post in order to get to the NICIAW website and go directly to the scheduled talks.
No matter what political party you belong or adhere to, or how you choose to vote, you may have heard or watched Senator McCain giving his acceptance speech last night. He said something to the effect that he was cocky until he spiraled to the ground from his plane into enemy hands where an angry crowd awaited him. He related that he became even more changed when he was put in a cell with two other prisoners who fed him because he couldn't himself.
I relate this because his experience of being broken when he needed help is one that is universal to mankind. When we need the help of others to handle basic living all the strength and self reliance we depend upon is immediately depleted.
And how we accept the help of others and incorporate it into our lives makes all the difference in how they feel about assisting us. Though I am usually, as I am now, able to do almost anything as long as I walk with forearm crutches, when I travel to speak across country I depend on others to assist me at events. I depend on people to drive me to speaking engagements as well, though I drive near home. How I ask for help, showing appreciation for and trying to understand how my helpers might feel regarding things, influences how we get along. When I need help in our home the assumptions I make and how I communicate my needs reinforces or depletes the relationship warmth we maintain among us.
Jesus wasn't afraid to ask his disciples to accompany him in his time of need in the Garden of Gethsemane. He models for us behavior that often needs to be learned.
How we help the ones who help us will be the basis of my talk on Tuesday. If this is something you'd like to explore, please join Lisa and me on blogtalkradio.com!
Learning how to help others who help me . . .
Have a great weekend!
Jo
Thursday, July 10, 2008
A Heart of Thanks
How often do you thank those around you? I've been thinking about that lately because I have so much for which to be thankful!
Life often doesn't turn out exactly like we want, and that means it will often bring needs that others can meet. But do you ask for help? It's not easy is it? As a Western society we are taught we are to be loners, do-it-ourselfers, able to do it all alone.
I learned many years ago when MS hit me that I needed to request assistance in order to function fully--and a full life is what I wanted! That meant asking for a ride somewhere. Help with things at home occasionally. And when I began living alone as a single after fifteen years of marriage (and an unwanted divorce) I definitely needed help at times. Needless to say, it turned out to be providential that I had already learned how to ask.
There is an art to asking for help. I've learned the hard way that if I'm not accepting of my need for help my request will not come out nicely! Many don't know that Jesus actually modeled asking for help for us. In Matthew 26:36 we read "Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." I can't imagine in the state he was in, needing support, he would have used a voice full of annoyance, but one full of gentleness.
For me, the attitude behind my request needs to come from a heart of thanks that others would want to help. That takes stepping out of my comfort zone and giving it a try! Usually, with an attitude of gratefulness, people are more than willing to help out. They actually say they're blessed to be helping!
I have been speaking and singing for audiences since 1984 and it is only possible because I ask for assistance from others. My husband is another who is asked quite regularly for help--and when I say "Would you please..." there is rarely a time he isn't more than willing and wants to help. I'm so appreciative of the help I receive.
When I traveled to Israel as part of an archaeological team that worked at the site of Timnah, where Samson got his Philistine bride in Judges 14:1, the members could sense my excitement at being in the land where Jesus walked and lived and died and rose from the dead. They could sense my enthusiasm round every turn and they offered to help because of that. I so overflowed with thanks that I wrote a song and dedicated it to them at a banquet before we crossed into Jordan and rode donkeys into Petra where they fireman-carried me around yet again. (Remember the rosy building carved into the stone canyon in an Indiana Jones movie? That's Petra--it really exists with many buildings!)
It's difficult requesting help, but I guarantee that if you try asking someone, chances are they are going to want to do whatever they can if you begin with a heart of thanks!
Have a thankful week! And try asking for help--you'll give someone else a blessing.
Jo
Life often doesn't turn out exactly like we want, and that means it will often bring needs that others can meet. But do you ask for help? It's not easy is it? As a Western society we are taught we are to be loners, do-it-ourselfers, able to do it all alone.
I learned many years ago when MS hit me that I needed to request assistance in order to function fully--and a full life is what I wanted! That meant asking for a ride somewhere. Help with things at home occasionally. And when I began living alone as a single after fifteen years of marriage (and an unwanted divorce) I definitely needed help at times. Needless to say, it turned out to be providential that I had already learned how to ask.
There is an art to asking for help. I've learned the hard way that if I'm not accepting of my need for help my request will not come out nicely! Many don't know that Jesus actually modeled asking for help for us. In Matthew 26:36 we read "Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, "Sit here while I go over there and pray." I can't imagine in the state he was in, needing support, he would have used a voice full of annoyance, but one full of gentleness.
For me, the attitude behind my request needs to come from a heart of thanks that others would want to help. That takes stepping out of my comfort zone and giving it a try! Usually, with an attitude of gratefulness, people are more than willing to help out. They actually say they're blessed to be helping!
I have been speaking and singing for audiences since 1984 and it is only possible because I ask for assistance from others. My husband is another who is asked quite regularly for help--and when I say "Would you please..." there is rarely a time he isn't more than willing and wants to help. I'm so appreciative of the help I receive.
When I traveled to Israel as part of an archaeological team that worked at the site of Timnah, where Samson got his Philistine bride in Judges 14:1, the members could sense my excitement at being in the land where Jesus walked and lived and died and rose from the dead. They could sense my enthusiasm round every turn and they offered to help because of that. I so overflowed with thanks that I wrote a song and dedicated it to them at a banquet before we crossed into Jordan and rode donkeys into Petra where they fireman-carried me around yet again. (Remember the rosy building carved into the stone canyon in an Indiana Jones movie? That's Petra--it really exists with many buildings!)
It's difficult requesting help, but I guarantee that if you try asking someone, chances are they are going to want to do whatever they can if you begin with a heart of thanks!
Have a thankful week! And try asking for help--you'll give someone else a blessing.
Jo
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