Since a number of people are searching the web to find out the statistics of divorce in marriages with one partner having multiple sclerosis, I thought I'd add my own lessons to the mix. I believe they could help anyone reading this, not just those of us with MS.
When I was diagnosed in 1978, the future was bleak unless I had "a light course of the disease." There were no FDA approved drugs proven to lower the incidence or severity of attacks--not until 1993 with the approval of Betaseron.
In 1984, after my first husband had an affair and left me in divorce (after fifteen years of marriage) I was trained by the Denver chapter of the National MS Society as one of their first group of peer-counselors for others with MS. I learned that the rate of divorce for those with MS--at that time--was very high. It was compared to those who had lost a child by death--much higher than the average population. I believe they told us in the 80-90% range!
When I began dating I doubted anyone would want to share this disease. Yes, my former husband had other issues besides the MS, but it was a part of his struggle. I would have worked with him even after his affair if he'd wanted to--but he didn't.
I began telling myself that the "truths" about who I was "apart from MS" were what mattered; who I was to God--not the MS. But when I told guys the grim possibilities (and not on the first date!), there were few who really wanted to stay around.
Then I met a man who was sensitive. Fun-loving and adventuresome like me. He was also a single parent to 7 and 9 year old daughters!
We four had a blast together. I gradually gave Ray more information as he wanted it to read about MS. He was fearful of adding that to his single parenting, yet I was good with them, as well; I loved the girls. Ray was in conflict. Because of his own difficulties from his childhood making him fear commitment again, he took a job across the country to flee our relationship.
But when he asked me to marry him later, I knew he was committed. We've been through so much more than MS in our nearly 21 years together. We are lovers, friends, adventurers, companions, and soul-mates. "For better or worse" is really our story.
Posted by Jo Franz www.jofranz.com
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
My mom was diagnosed with MS and my dad left her for a younger woman who wasn't sick. My parents divorced when I was 2. My mother NEVER dated after that again. She HATED men. She hated my husband. I should also mention that my mother was an immigrant here who spoke no English and had no family when she moved here to the United States. I was depressed and suicidal as a child and it wasn't until very recently that I realized it was because of her! She was just angry, miserable, and bitter about the way things turned out and I can't say that I blame her, but she never got help. And she never got me help. I got myself help as an adult and that's when things started to change for me. I really hope she is in a better place now. She died last year after over 37 years with living with MS.
My husband and I are going through a divorce now! I was diagnosed in 2002. I am very able of taking care of my 3 and 5 yr. old sons. I was the ambassador teacher support group leasder for my county. He has had an affair and our sex life was active for the most part. He is a narcissist and became to mentally abusive. I had fears of more physical abuse. What abuse that was going on was beginning to escalate! It was like he woke up one day and hated me because I was a stay at home mom on disability!! I am very depressed. I am seeking counseling for my sons. I left him with my children and filed a protective order. The order is worthless! I could not show any marks of physical abuse. Mental abuse does not matter much to courts or attorneys! He is fighting me for full custody and using MS against me! I am very afraid of my future situation. Divorce has been filed by both of us. Waiting on court date! Any advice appreciated. Fighting the "MS Dragon" once again! Shannon, IN.
Dear Anonymous,
My heart goes out to you. I wish I could give you a big long hug of comfort. I didn't have children with my first husband though we wanted them. (Actually, I have never gone through childbirth, but not because of the MS.) The thought occurred to me when we were going through the divorce that he would fight me for them because of it, so I just feel so badly for you. I am not an attorney but I think you need one who has worked in this kind of situation before. There is an attorney who works with disability cases who might have some advice for you about how to stand against your husband for your children and your safety because of the MS. The site is www.MSworld.org. The attorney you could call that I found on this site is: Richard I. Feingold & Associates, P.C.
5153 N. Broadway Street
Chicago, Illinois 60640
Tel. (773) 989-9899 · Fax: (773) 944-9620
Web: www.USADisabilityLaw.com
Email: Rich@USADisabilityLaw.com
If you'd like to communicate with me one on one you can do so. Go to my profile and you'll find my email address. May God bless and protect you and your children, Jo
Hello everyone, i'm Linda Harry from United State i was diagnosed with Parkinson Disease for over 6 years which made me loose my job and my relationship with my Fiance after he discovered that i was having Parkinson, he departed from me, and i tried all my best to make him stays, but he neglected me until a friend of mine from UK told me Great healer, who will restore my life back with his powerful healing herbal medicine. then he sent me his email address to contact him- drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com. and i quickly contacted him, and he said my condition can be solved, that he will treat the disease immediately only if i can accept trust on him and accept his terms and condition, i Agreed because i was so much in need of help by all means, so i did all he instructed me to do. And surprisingly after two weeks, He sent me a text, that i should hurry up to the hospital for a checkup, which i truly did, i confirm from my doctor that i am now ( PARKINSON NEGATIVE) my eyes filled with tears and joy, crying heavily because truly the disease deprived me of many things from my life, This is a Miracle, dr imoloa also uses his powerful herbal medicine to cure the following diseases: lupus disease, mouth ulcer, mouth cancer, body pain, fever, hepatitis A.B.C., syphilis, diarrhea, HIV/AIDS, Huntington's Disease, back acne, Chronic renal failure, addison disease, Chronic Pain, Crohn's Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, Fibromyalgia, Inflammatory Bowel Disease, fungal nail disease, Lyme Disease, Celia disease, Lymphoma, Major Depression, Malignant Melanoma, Mania, Melorheostosis, Meniere's Disease, Mucopolysaccharidosis , Multiple Sclerosis, Muscular Dystrophy, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Alzheimer's Disease, parkison disease, vaginal cancer, epilepsy, Anxiety Disorders, Autoimmune Disease, Back Pain, Back Sprain, Bipolar Disorder, Brain Tumour, Malignant, Bruxism, Bulimia, Cervical Disk Disease, cardiovascular disease, Neoplasms, chronic respiratory disease, mental and behavioural disorder, Cystic Fibrosis, Hypertension, Diabetes, asthma, Inflammatory autoimmune-mediated arthritis. chronic kidney disease, inflammatory joint disease, impotence, feta alcohol spectrum, Dysthymic Disorder, Eczema, tuberculosis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, constipation, inflammatory bowel disease, bone cancer, lung cancer. contact him on email- drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com. and also on whatssap- +2347081986098
In our simple life, love plays a very specific role. Now we are able to make your love life healthy and no space for any type of trouble. These all are possible with the help of Dr. EKPEN of SOLUTION TEMPLE. He helped me cast a spell that brought my long lost lover back within 48hours who left me for another woman. You can also contact him on (EKPENTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM) and be happy forever like am now with his experience.
“I was very reluctant at first when i come across Dr Itua online, but am glad my husband and I went through the help of Dr Itua love spell to save my marriage! Even after only being married a few short months then my husband got away with another woman, we were struggling and unsure of how to improve our marriage. If there is anyone who thinks they don’t need to improve their marriage, they are only kidding themselves. Our lives as a married couple have turned around throughout these last nine weeks and we are closer to each other and to God than ever before! We have learned so much about each other that we might not have if we had not taken this class.” Katie my friend introduce me to Dr Itua love spell online which I contacted for a help and after his love spell my husband come back to me with an apology so that how things changed for good and now we are happily married with 3 kids he even loves me more than before. Dr Itua is a good heart with great love spell which has no side effect , you can contact Dr Itua on Email: drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com Or whatsapp @ +2348149277967.
I'm here to give my testimony how I was cured from HIV, I contacted my HIV via blade. A friend of my use blade to peel of her finger nails and drop it where she use it, so after she has left i did know what came unto me i looked at my nails, my nails were very long and I took the blade which she just used on her own nails to cut of my finger nails, as i was maintaining my names, i mistakenly injured myself. I did even bother about it, so when I got to the hospital the next week when i was ill the doctor told me that I am HIV positive, i wondered where did i got it from so i remembered how I use my friend blade to cut off my hand so i feel so sad in my heart to the extent that i don’t even know what to do, so one day i was passing through the internet i met a testimony of a lady that all talk about how she was cured by a doctor called DR Imoloa so i quickly emailed the doctor and he also replied to me and told me the requirements which i will provide and I do according to his command, he prepare a herbal medicine for me which I took. He message me the following week that i should go for a test which i did to my own surprise i found that i was HIV negative. He also have cured for all kinds of incurable diseases like: Huntington's disease, back acne, chronic kidney failure, Addison's disease, Chronic Disease, Crohn's Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, Fibromyalgia, Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Fungal Nail Disease, Paralysis, Celia Disease , Lymphoma, Major Depression, Malignant Melanoma, Mania, Melorheostosis, Meniere's Disease, Mucopolysaccharidosis, Multiple Sclerosis, Muscle Dystrophy, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Alzheimer Disease and so many. Thanks to him once more the great doctor that cured me dr. Imoloa so you can also email him via drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com or whatsapp him on +2347081986098. / website- www.drimolaherbalmademedicine.wordpress.com. God Bless you Sir.
I'm here to give my testimony how I was cured from HIV, I contacted my HIV via blade. A friend of my use blade to peel of her finger nails and drop it where she use it, so after she has left i did know what came unto me i looked at my nails, my nails were very long and I took the blade which she just used on her own nails to cut of my finger nails, as i was maintaining my names, i mistakenly injured myself. I did even bother about it, so when I got to the hospital the next week when i was ill the doctor told me that I am HIV positive, i wondered where did i got it from so i remembered how I use my friend blade to cut off my hand so i feel so sad in my heart to the extent that i don’t even know what to do, so one day i was passing through the internet i met a testimony of a lady that all talk about how she was cured by a doctor called DR Imoloa so i quickly emailed the doctor and he also replied to me and told me the requirements which i will provide and I do according to his command, he prepare a herbal medicine for me which I took. He message me the following week that i should go for a test which i did to my own surprise i found that i was HIV negative. He also have cured for all kinds of incurable diseases like: Huntington's disease, back acne, chronic kidney failure, Addison's disease, Chronic Disease, Crohn's Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, Fibromyalgia, Inflammatory Bowel Disease, Fungal Nail Disease, Paralysis, Celia Disease , Lymphoma, Major Depression, Malignant Melanoma, Mania, Melorheostosis, Meniere's Disease, Mucopolysaccharidosis, Multiple Sclerosis, Muscle Dystrophy, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Alzheimer Disease and so many. Thanks to him once more the great doctor that cured me dr. Imoloa so you can also email him via drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com or whatsapp him on +2347081986098. / website- www.drimolaherbalmademedicine.wordpress.com. God Bless you Sir.
Been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2015, and I was a woman of 50. They put me on Rebif which I took until 2017 and was switched to Copaxone. I had two relapses on Rebif, none so far on Copaxone. I do notice my balance was getting worse, and my memory, as well as erectile dysfunction and spasms’ had no choice to sick for other solution and I was introduce to multivitamincare .org which I purchase the MS herbal formula from the org, the herbal supplement has successfully get rid of my multiple sclerosis and reversed all symptoms after using the herbs as the Dr said , this is almost a miracle and do believe multivitamincare.org herbal cure will be recognize globally because am sure the world are yet to see their wonderful work.
Post a Comment