Monday, July 28, 2008

What I Do With Disappointment

When life throws us a twist or a turn, a curve we don't expect in the road, we always have a choice about how we will respond, don't we? Often this is complicated by our expectations of what we thought would happen instead of what has! I've been reminded of that once again this summer.

My last two years have been the best out of five with the MS. I've done TV and radio programs, spoken cross country and multi tasked more than I can remember. Sure, I still needed rests and the help of others, but life has been exciting!

Then I was diagnosed with severe iron deficiency in late May and finally had a reason for the need to pant and the incredible tiredness (on top of MS fatigue I deal with daily). Tests commenced in order to find the cause while I continued to weaken. The maximum dose of IV iron was administered on July 11 but I wasn't feeling better.

And while I wrote my last post for this blog I sensed new MS symptoms taking hold. Last Monday through Friday IV steroids were administered for several hours each day to halt the flareup. I can't just take a blast of them. I need a slow drip due to my hypersensitivity pain which is a result of the cervical spinal cord injury in 1994. (Another subject, another time . . .)

Now this summer I had hoped to work on my next book and begin recording a new CD, as well as other things. Best laid plans of mice and men . . .

I have had a choice all summer as I weakened--decide to make the most out of whatever I could do (which hasn't been much, I must admit), or whine and complain and become bitter.

Years ago I realized that choices make all the difference. So during these past two months I've waited to hear what God wanted to say by speaking to my heart in the many moments of rest I've needed. And when I am quiet before him with love in my heart the preciousness of who I am to him--GOD--blesses me in ways I can't put into words. Psalms 34:4 says, "I sought the Lord and he answered me." I simply love it when he does that!

I've relished opportunities to speak with nurses, doctors, technicians running tests, and other patients as I have gone through everything. Last week seven nurses and two patients bought my memoir because we met over IV steroids! I'm encouraged by the fact I would never have seen these people had I not had MS problems, and now I hope they'll be touched and blessed by reading my entire story.

Now that I am becoming more stable again (and hopefully my blood work will continue to show improvement) I'll be exercising to regain strength and endurance--just like I've done ever since 1980 when I learned how important exercise is. This is another choice I make gladly.

Are you dealing with disappointments? What do you do with them? What choices do you want to make that will make a difference for you?

Have a great week--I am planning to!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Jo, Just stopping by to say hello and touch base with your blog.

You've answered the question for me already....I just sit and wait to be shown the way. And I always am shown.

Have a good week,